Unexpected Blessing

Greetings!!! Waaaaay back in August I had no intention of letting 5 whole months pass without me blogging or writing anything more than a Facebook status and shopping list.

Life has a way of bringing surprises and September 2012 brought us a HUGE surprise. Or, more accurately, an itty bitty surprise that will result in major changes.

Remember the post I wrote in January 2012 about there not being babies/toddlers in my house and how that season of my life was over?

Baby #5 at 22 weeks

Level 2 ultrasound showing his right foot.

Our Jedi baby

Apparently, I was w.r.o.n.g. Matthew Stephen will be joining our family the first week of May. We are thrilled! We are exhausted at the thought of caring for a newborn at 38! But we can't wait to meet him.

Stay tuned for more baby talk as I ease back into the habit of blogging!

So, what have you been up to in the last 5 months?

Do the Right Thing, Even When It's Hard

Honesty, integrity, trustworthiness: 3 values I'm trying to instill in my children.

Around our house we lump those values into one big pot called "doing the right thing."

Do the right thing.

"Do the right thing even when you won't be rewarded for it."

"Do the right thing even when you will be laughed at."

"Do the right thing even when it will cost you."

It's easy for me to tell my children those principles. It's difficult for me to model them.

I want to win.

I've entered a contest to become one of 10 bloggers for Wyndham Worldwide's Women on Their Way. The 10 winners will receive 200,000 Wyndham Rewards points, $800, and a Flip camera. They will also write about their travels for the Women on Their Way blog.

To say I want to win this contest is an understatement! It combines 3 of my passions: traveling with my children, writing about our travels, and sharing tips with other moms.

Let me repeat, I WANT TO WIN.

But not that way.

According to Wyndham's official rules, "Each vote may be submitted once each day." It has been brought to my attention that Wyndham's voting system makes it possible to vote more than once a day. You can vote on multiple computers. You can vote on your computer and smart phone. And if you are computer savvy enough, you can figure out a way to vote from one computer as many times a day as you want.

One person, multiple votes a day.

I could bend the rule and say it's unclear what "each vote" means. Is it each computer? Each household? Each person?

I could also say other people are doing it so why shouldn't I? And if there's any doubt that others are voting multiple times, let me assure you, I have been majorly working my social network. My friends are asking their friends who are asking their friends to vote. And I'm still at about #18, despite being in the top 10 in a similar contest last year.

I could justify my social network voting multiple times, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to win that way.

Win with integrity.

I want to win with integrity. I want to be a role model for my kids that when doing the right thing might cost you something you really, really, really want - you still do the right thing.

So I'm asking my friends and family to only vote once a day per person until March 31.

If you've been voting for me multiple times a day, please understand that I appreciate your support! I am very grateful for your help! I do not mean to sound ungrateful or unappreciative!! I know that not all of my friends or family have a problem with this gray ethical area but I ask that you honor one vote per person per day.

Then, if I win, we know it's because I deserved to win, not because we found a loophole in the system.

One day I'll tell my kids the story about how their mom wanted to win a really awesome contest but chose doing the right thing over winning. It wasn't an easy. And it wasn't fair, but no one ever said life would be easy or fair. Hopefully my kids will understand my choice and also choose the painful road of integrity.

Have you ever had to choose doing the right thing over something you really wanted?


Ps. By the way, I'd love it if you voted for me once a day until March 31! Thanks!!

ROAD TRIP!!!

windows down
wind blasting
hair whipping

radio on
music blaring
hands drumming

drink full
moisture beading
lips swallowing

friends beside
laughter exploding
faces smiling


On this warm sunny day in spring, I'm thinking about road trips with college friends. It's been 15 years since I threw a few clothes and a toothbrush in a bag and headed out on a road trip on a whim.

This isn't to say I'd change my life but days like today make me long for a Rte. 44 Vanilla Dr. Pepper, an Abba CD, and two beautiful friends name April and Michelle.

Do you have fond road trip memories from college? Please share!


Help me take a road trip with my kids this year. Vote for me to be a 2012 #wynwomen #travelblogger!  



Linked to:

Running to Perseverance

She wants to run.

She wants to run a 5k race.

She wants to run a 5k race without stopping.

But.

That would require training.

That would require training early in the morning.

That would require training early in the morning in cold weather.

Then.

She hears.

She hears her own voice.

She hears her own voice saying, “When the exercises are hard and you want to quit, you have to push through it and keep going.”

So.

She walks.

She walks daily.

She walks daily in the cold early morning until she can run.

And.

She hopes.

She hopes he learns.

She hopes he learns perseverance.

As.

He watches.

He watches her train.

He watches her train to run.

How are you modeling perseverance? 

Inspired by Day 6: Perspective 

Learning Perseverance is Painful

The week's gymnastics lesson over, her children climbed into the gray van and fastened their seat belts. While buckling her 3 year old into his car seat, she glanced toward the backseat and noticed the expression on his face.

The eldest child, an eight year old boy who embodied all the stereotypes of a firstborn, sat with his back ramrod straight, his jaw clenched, and eyes  filled with tears. "Uh-oh," she thought.

Looking into his face, she gently asked, "What's the matter, Sweetheart?"

The tears spilled down his cheeks. "I don't want to do gymnastics any more."

"Really?," she asked, silently praying for wise words to help her hurting firstborn. "Why not?"

"I'm not good at it. The coach said Brother's good at gymnastics. It's not fair," his words tumbled out in a mixture of disappointment and jealousy.

"Well," she responded, "Everyone has something their good at doing. Gymnastics is one of those things for Brother. That doesn't mean you can't be good at gymnastics, too. It just means you have to work harder at it than he does. When the exercises are hard and you want to quit, you have to push through it and keep going. O.K.?"

He nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes. With that her teachable moment ended and she climbed into the driver's seat.

As she drove towards home, she replayed the previous scene in her mind. Her heart ached for her perfectionist firstborn. She understood his desire to do everything well, along with his desire to quit when things got hard. It didn't help matters that Brother, younger by only 20 months, was a natural athlete. She marveled that two brothers could be so different.

Then she wondered, yet again, how would she ever teach her oldest perseverance?


How do you teach your children perseverance?


This post was inspired by Day 5:: First and Third.

Front Porch Tradition

photo courtesy of Mr. ThinkTank 

My eyes scan the photo in search of something I can relate to, of some touch of familiarity. Nothing. I see nothing but a jumble of brightly painted houses almost sitting on top of each other, postage stamp sized front yards, and, in the background, a looming high rise apartment building. Then I notice on the dark blue front steps of the first house an old wooden crate turned on it's end and shoved up against a porch pillar.

Suddenly I no longer see an urban street in New Zealand. Instead, my mind revisits a scene on a dirt road in rural Arkansas. Before me stands a solitary farm house surrounded by green pastures as far as the eye can see. An old wooden swing hangs by two silver chains from the light blue ceiling of the wide front porch.

An upended old wooden crate on an urban front porch. A swaying old wooden swing on a rural farmhouse porch. Both wait for their owners to return and sit, when they will once again be silent participants in an ancient custom that transcends cultures and generations.

Do you sit on your front porch and share the day's end with family or neighbors?

Please help me become the next Wyndham Women on Their Way travel blogger. Just click here. Then click on the "like" next to the green thumb. Just two clicks will help me pursue my goals. Thanks!!

This post is participating in:

Writing Tools List. A Magnifying Glass?!

My tools for writing are my experiences as a mom, a black spiral notebook and a blue Bic ink pen, and my ruby red Dell laptop. A cup of hot tea and some form of chocolate also help the writing process, but they are optional.

Inspiration Tool

Probably 80 percent of my writing relates to my role as a mom of four. Sometimes I share stories about the antics of my children, like when Will wanted to sell his little brother. Other times I give a tip I've learned for managing life with children in the house.

Ideas List

Writing ideas often come when I least expect them. Like at bed time when my 8 year old asks for tomorrow to be Opposite Day so he can write only wrong answers on his school work. That's when my small black spiral notebook and blue Bic ink pen come in handy. I just jot down his funny quote in my book and save it for a day I'm looking for something to write about.

Writing Implement

I don't remember the last time I hand wrote anything longer than a shopping list or a brainstorm of blog ideas. Whether I'm writing blog posts, Cub Scout plans, or monthly menus I always use my ruby red Dell laptop.

Today my 1^st grader also wrote a list of his favorite writing tools. What does a 7 year old boy use to write? Scissors, colored pencils, pencils, and a magnifying glass.

Magnifying glass?!

Who can understand the workings of the mind of a 7 year old boy? Not me!

What tools do you use to write? 

Please help me become the next Wyndham Women on Their Way travel blogger. Just click here. Then click on the "like" next to the green thumb. Just two clicks will help me pursue my goals. Thanks!!

31 Days to Become a Better Writer :: Day 1

I was complaining on Facebook about getting out of the habit of writing (blogging) and having writers block.

Then a blub about 31 Days to Become a Better Writer appeared in my news feed. So I thought I'd give it a shot.





The Challenge: 

Write five nondescript sentences.  Look at them again and re-write them to show and not tell what was happening.  Go over them one last time and pump them full of interesting and descriptive words to really drive your point home!

Since it's 10:30 PM and I'd like to go to bed while it's still Tuesday I'm only going to write 3 sentences.

Nondescript:

1. I was sick.
2. I am busy.
3. I want to win a contest.

Show, not tell:

1. My runny nose virus turned into a full blown head cold, complete with coughing and almost no voice.
2. Each week I take my children to gymnastics lessons, go grocery shopping, run a Cub Scout den meeting, teach my children home school lessons, blog, and maintain a semi-clean house.
3. Last week I entered a contest to be the next Wyndham Women on their Way travel bloggers.

Pump it Up!:

1. "Hello," I uttered huskily into the phone. Laughing on the other end, Cindy declared, "With that deep throaty voice you might have a future as a radio DJ!" "You might be right," I answered before my shoulders violently shook with another spasm of coughing.
2. My weekly calendar is crammed with children's activities and home management tasks. When at home if I'm not guiding my sons through their home school exercises I'm throwing their dirt encrusted blue jeans into my overworked washing machine. Once we complete our at-home work, we jet off to gymnastics lessons, or Cub Scouts, or the grocery store, or our local library.
3. Taking my first major road trip at three years of age planted a love for travel deep in my heart. That love for travel inspired me to enter the Wyndam Women on their Way travel blogger contest. Getting paid to blog our adventurous family road trips is a dream long in the making!

What do you think? Any suggestions for ways I can improve my writing?


PS. I really did enter the travel contest and would LOVE your vote. Just follow the link and click "like." Thanks!!

A Rambling Mommy Brain

Do you ever get where your brain is full of thoughts and plans and activities you want to do but you just can't seem to move it all from the thought level to the action level?

That's where I'm at right now.

My brain is full.

I've brain-dumped until I almost need a list for my lists.

I have thoughts about: our snow storm this weekend, my Cub Scout den meetings for the rest of the year; our Cub Scout Blue and Gold Dinner next month; our family budget; ways to cut expenses for groceries, clothing, household supplies and homeschool curriculum; books I want to read with my kids; our home school activities; play dates to schedule; a whole month of blog posts to write; launching my new blog EverydayFamilyLiving.com; guest posts to write; ebooks to tell you about; and..and..and..

My list goes on and on.

Will and I sledding down a hill.

There's so much that I WANT to do that I don't know where to start. And so I do nothing. Instead I watch TV or browse through Pinterest or check Facebook. Those are all fun activities but they won't help me reach my goals.

Speaking of goals, yesterday I found out I'll be speaking at the RIGHT (Rhode Island Guild of Home Teachers) annual conference. My workshop will be:
 

Mom Confidence: Equip Yourself to Care for an Infant/Toddler While Teaching Your Older Kids. 

When it comes to homeschooling, toddlers and infants often bring a whole new challenge. In this session we'll tackle questions such as: when do we get school work done? How do I keep the Baby from distracting my Big Kid? And how do I keep my Toddler out of mischief? Learn real mom tools and tips for homeschooling with an infant or toddler in the house.

Ellie "reads" to Sam while the Big Boys do school work.

I'm super excited for the opportunity to speak about homeschooling. I'm a little nervous to speak to other home school moms! Speaking at least once this year is one of my goals for 2012. It'll be fun to check that off.

So, I warned you in the title that this post rambled. I think it lived up to the title. And now that I got all of that out of my system, maybe I can write a couple of posts that DON'T ramble.

Thanks for reading! And I'd love it if you shared how you solve the problem of a brain full of thoughts and not knowing which to act on first!

Saying Good-bye to a Season of Motherhood

There are no babies in my house.

No tiny diapers. No bottles. No middle-of-the-night feedings. No pacifiers. No tiny shoes. No diaper blow outs. No sweet baby's breath. No swaying side-to-side during a conversation to keep a baby asleep.

The baby-toddler stage of my mothering journey officially ended in October when Samuel turned 3 years old. A season of my life is done. Over.

1 Solution to Public Temper Tantrums :: Mom2Mom

My children are perfect, all four of them. They never talk back, speak unkind words or throw temper tantrums. When we leave the house they are always examples of proper behavior for all those unruly, out-of-control children other parents have.

Riiiighttt. If you believe that I have a bridge I'd like to sell you!


My children have fits just like other children. Occasionally those fits occur in public. Isn't it fun when that happens? Especially when EVERYONE. turns. to. stare.

credit: christine [cbsezto]

Several months ago my 2 year old picked the library for his temper tantrum stage. Yep, the library. You know that place where everyone is supposed to whisper and use their walking feet. Yeah, there.

Sam (the 2 yr old), Ellie (the 4 yr old) and I (the .. well, never mind) drove to the library after supper so my hubby and the 2 older boys could accomplish school work. Normally Sam visits the library securely strapped into his stroller but on this trip I thought I could manage him since I had fewer children. Rookie mistake.

After enjoying the 2nd floor children's section, we checked out a huge pile of books on the 1st floor and headed towards the door. Then Sam decided to go back upstairs on the elevator. I told him no and that's when the battle started.

Loudly crying he refused to walk down the long hallway to the outer door and threw himself on the floor. I tried to reason with him using that sweet mommy voice that we all reserve for public occasions. By now all the librarians and patrons were staring at us. I couldn't pick him up because my arms were full of books and Ellie's so close in size that she couldn't help.

So, I told him, still using a singsong mommy voice, "Sister and I are going to the car now. I hope you come with us. Bye." And I slowly started walking down the hallway. Once I got around a corner out of sight, Sam picked himself up off the floor, walked a little way down the hall, saw me and threw himself on the floor again.

I repeated that I was leaving and slowly walked further down the hall, praying the whole time that he would come. When I reached about 15 feet away from him, he stood up and joined me as I walked to the van. I guess he believed my bluff that I would leave him behind.

For the record I would never leave one of my children behind. I don't recommend using this technique with every child or using it often, but in this case it was effective.

Thank goodness because I didn't have a Plan B!

Do your children throw temper tantrums in public? What was the worst one?

Disappointed in Motherhood :: Mom2Mom

You know that feeling you get when your expectations aren't met?  Yep, disappointment.  That's what I want to talk about today.

Last week I experienced a big disappointment - the winners for the Mom Central Blogging Grants were announced and I wasn't one of them.

Honestly, I'm disappointed.  I really wanted to win that grant!  It's taken me a week to process the loss and tell you about it.  I know many of you voted for me daily and I hate to let you down.

As I thought about my disappointment I realized my negative emotions were causing negative thinking.  Thoughts like "my blog isn't good enough," "I'm never going be a successful blogger," and "I should have worked harder" filled my mind.

Thankfully I have a wise husband who reminded me that my blog is good (though it can always be improved), that I am a success at blogging (though not where I want to be yet) and that I gave the contest my best shot.

Once my negative emotions decreased I could see the truth in Joel's words.  I also started thinking about disappointment in motherhood. 

Motherhood is chock full of unmet expectations!  Some of them are silly, while others run deep and cause pain for years.

Here are a few of my motherhood disappointments:

• All 4 of my babies were delivered by c-section.  Being strapped to a table surrounded by doctors and nurses is not a magical way to begin motherhood!
• One of my children has brown eyes.  I know it's silly but my blue eyes have always been one of my favorite characteristics so I wanted my children to be blue-eyed.  I'm over it now and love my child's chocolate colored eyes.
• I only nursed the first 2 boys a couple of months so I could go back on my RA medication.  I always thought I'd breastfeed for a year.
• My school-aged children learned to read as kindergarteners.  I learned to read before starting school and always thought my children would too.

These are just a few of my disappointments with motherhood.  As you can see, some are silly and passed, while others still sting even today. 

What motherhood disappointments have you experienced?  Silly or serious?  Do they still cause you pain?  Let's talk about it in the comments.

Toddlers LOVE Mama's Makeup :: Mom2Mom

All moms have one, and if you don't already you eventually will.

We all have a "my child got into my lipstick/makeup/perfume" story. 

Amazingly enough my story took place after being a mom for 7.5 years.  I walked into the bathroom to discover Samuel in there playing.  I didn't even realize he was in there until I saw him!  And then, I saw him.

Actually, I saw the pile of toilet paper on the floor first.  And then I saw the light tan patches all down the front of Sam's pajamas.  And black smudges all over his hands.  And more light tan patches on the throw rug.

Really it was my own fault.  I left my makeup bag on the bathroom counter within easy reach of a certain 2 year old when standing on the toilet.  It was a newbie mistake.  You'd think by child #4 I would know better.

See the guilt on that face and the hidden hand?

The pictures don't do justice to the damage he caused.  Compact blush and powder broken into bits.  Foundation poured all over the place.  Eye shadow gouged into chunks. 

Sweet little hand covered with foundation and mascara.

As I cleaned him up I realized mascara coated Sam's hand and that the tube lay partially opened.  So I pulled the wand out of the tube to check it for damage.   I found an eyeshadow sponge SKEWERED to the end of it!  SKEWERED like a marshmallow waiting to be roasted!  (Sadly I didn't take a picture of it.)

The boy ruined every single piece of makeup I owned.  I had to throw it all out and start over new. 

I'll be honest, I wavered between anger/frustration and laughter.  I felt frustration over cleaning up a huge mess at bedtime and at the expense of all new makeup.  But, the little rascal looked so guilty and cute that I found it hard not to laugh at the whole situation.

In the end, laughter won (although Sam didn't laugh at his discipline) and photos were taken.  Today I have a funny 'Mom story' and all new Mary Kay makeup so all's well that ends well.

Do you have a "my child got into my lipstick/makeup/perfume" story?  Please share it with us!

A Guy from Africa, A Girl from Arkansas and a Miracle :: Hearts at Home

"Have you experienced any miracles in your life?" is today's Third Thursday Thought.

Have I experienced any miracles?  Well, it all depends on your definitions.

Merriam-Webster defines 'miracle' as "an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs."  Calling my experience 'miraculous' all depends on if you believe they were extraordinary events or that God intervened.  I'll tell you the story and let you decide.

In the spring of 1993 there was an eighteen-year old guy living in Zimbabwe, Africa.  Though an American, he grew up in Asia and Africa and only visited the States when his missionary parents came 'home' on furlough.

That spring the young man discussed college choices for the fall with his parents.  Other American missionaries who lived nearby strongly recommended a small Southern Baptist university in rural Arkansas.  After learning the university offered more scholarship money for missionary kids than any other school, the young man decided to enroll there.

His first visit to the university's campus came in the fall of 1993 when his parents settled him in his dorm room before freshman orientation.

In that same spring an eighteen-year old girl living in northeast Arkansas discussed college choices for the fall with her parents.  Her options seemed limitless:  a local community college, at least 5 different state universities (with full scholarships), a Christian university in Florida, or a small Southern Baptist university about three hours from her home in Arkansas.

The young lady eventually decided to attend the small rural Southern Baptist school.  When her parents dropped her off for freshman orientation she felt like she had returned home.  As a young child the girl had lived in an apartment on the same campus while her parents earned their degrees.  She had visited classes with them during school vacations, attended student movie nights, and listened for the chapel bells to know when her parents were coming home. 

Sometime during those first couple of chaotic weeks as freshmen the boy from Africa and the girl from Arkansas met.  Neither one knew their meeting would change their lives.  Neither one would even remember the meeting!

Fortunately they fell into the same group of friends and 'hung out' together.  But were just friends.

Friends that is until the summer of 1996 when both stayed for summer school while most of their friends went home.  I'll spare you the sappy details and just say that by the end of the summer our young man and young lady were dating and, a week after graduating from the small university, they married.

That's my story, but was it a miracle?


Was it a miracle that the other American missionaries just happened to have attended and sent their children to the Arkansas university?


Was it a miracle that the Arkansas university offered the best scholarships to missionary kids of all the other Southern Baptist schools that year?


Was it a miracle that the girl chose to return to the Southern Baptist school instead of attending a free state school?


Was it a miracle that they both decided to attend summer school?

The Boy and the Girl now with their 3 boys and 1 girl!

By Merriam-Webster's definition there was no 'extraordinary event' but there were a lot of little nudges from God as he divinely intervened to cause a boy from Africa and a girl from Arkansas to meet, fall in love and get married.

So, yes, I've experienced a miracle.  Have you?

Playtime with Mom :: Mom2Mom

My husband is an expert at playing with our children.  He spends hours on the floor driving cars, building Lincoln Log forts, and connecting Thomas the Tank Engine tracks.  He reads books aloud with our children and often changes his voice for each character.  And he actually thinks an afternoon playing Star Wars Wii is fun!


Me?  Not so much.  Entering my children's play world is difficult for me.

I'm too literal minded during imaginative play. 

I know I played as a child but I don't remember tea parties with my dolls or imaginary friends.  However, I do recall organizing accessories and clothes for my Barbies. (Good practice for organizing hair accessories for my daughter!)

Even when I convinced my brother that we should spread mud all over our faces, arms and legs it wasn't for PRETEND facials.  I thought our south Arkansas red clay mud would work just as good as a spa's "mud."  Too bad my mom didn't appreciate my efforts at skin care!

I'm too focused on being productive.

One of my mottos is "Do what you have to do.  Then do what you want to do."  By this I mean do your work first and play with the leftover time.  Children don't want to wait until all of my housework is completed (is it really ever?!).  They want to play immediately, not three hours later.

I have a hard time sitting on the floor to play with Thomas trains when my sink is full of dirty dishes, my laundry baskets overflow with dirty clothes, and lesson plans need writing.  Ten minutes constructing a barn from Lincoln Logs feels like forever when my spot on the floor gives me a view of the dust bunny collection under my son's bed.  Not that I want to do laundry, dishes and dusting, they just call my name from my To Do list.

The Girlie got tired so Daddy pulled the bike and she rode in the cart.

I want to do fun-to-me things.

Honestly, playing Star Wars Wii will never be high on my list of fun things to do.  Not that I don't enjoy Star Wars or Wii.  It's just not my preferred method of relaxation or fun.

I would much rather be blogging or reading a book than most of the play activities my children invite me to join.  Blogging excites me.  Reading historical fiction is fun for me.

Through the 7 years I've been a mom I've tried to deny my natural inclinations and play with my children.  Sometimes I do a good job of playing.  Sometimes I don't.

Is entering the imaginative world your children create difficult for you?  Or are you a natural at it like my husband?  Let's talk about it in the comments!

Cooking with Children :: Mom2Mom

While pregnant with Will, I dreamed of baking cookies, mixing cakes, and rolling out pizza crusts with my children.  In my vision they would wait patiently for their turn to help and we would show Daddy our delicious creations when he came home.

Mom and child cooking sessions fit into my ideal of a mom.

Speaking of ideals, television commercials show mom and child laughing and smiling as they mix cookie batter together.  Print ads imply that mom and child worked as a team to make the beautiful cake in front of them.  There are even magazines that show you step-by-step how to make amazingly elaborate animals from vegetables with your 3 year old.  (OK.  Maybe I exaggerate.  It's really your 4 year old.)

You can't see the 2 year old dipping his hand in the PB jar!

My cooking with children reality looks nothing like the magazines.

I have four pairs of hands eager to grab any spoon and stir.  My children crowd around the bowl making it difficult to measure and pour.  They whine and nag while waiting their turn to help.  And the finished product never looks like the picture in the magazine!

Cooking sessions with my children often leave me frustrated and annoyed.  I underestimate how long it will take.  I constantly tell my 2 year old to put items down.  And in the end I have a huge mess to clean up - with NO dishwasher to help.


Do you also dread cooking with your children?  Or have you learned to involve them in the kitchen without losing your mind?  Let's talk about it in the comments!

Flush the Toilet! :: Mom2Mom

Sooner or later every conversation between moms of young children turns to poop and pee.  We just can't help ourselves!

We discuss toilet training, diaper blow outs, and our favorite solutions for constipation.  Even moms with older or grown children frequently join this bizarre ritual.

Given this strange obsession, it only seems fitting that I add poop and pee to the list of Mom2Mom topics.

I'm currently in the process of potty training my 4th child.  The end of diapers is (hopefully!) in sight.  But once diapers are no longer part of my child's daily routine another problem develops - they don't flush.

Why can't my children remember to flush the toilet?!

We have 1.5 bathrooms for 6 people.  Neither of them is a master bathroom.  That means I share my bathrooms with 3 little BOYS and 1 little girl.  Little people who can't seem to remember to flush!

It's not like I didn't teach them during the training process.  "Do your business.  Flush the potty.  Clean your hands." was my mantra.  But the first part is the only one that took.

NOW I hear myself saying, "Did you flush the toilet?  Clean your hands?"  "Really? I didn't hear the water running."

At any given time during the day I can walk into the bathroom and find this (or worse!):

I'm definitely hitting an all time blogging low with that picture!

Seriously, do you have this problem at your house?  If not, what did you do to encourage flushing and hand cleaning? 

Overcommitted, Overbalanced :: Mom2Mom

Mom2Mom: a conversation between Moms about 

the hard points of this motherhood journey.

My full calendar wore me out last week.  Seriously.  Twice this month I've had packed weeks and twice I've ended up with migraine headaches at the end of the week.  I'm starting to think I'm a little overcommitted.


What are my overcommitted symptoms?

Tell me if any of these sound familiar:

• I dread going to activities that I enjoyed at the beginning of the school year.
• I throw together lessons for my weekly home school co-op class the night before.
• I stay up until midnight every night trying to "catch-up."
• I throw together lessons for my son's Cub Scout group hours before I lead them.
• I use videos to keep my children entertained.
• I'm grouchy, short-tempered, and easily frustrated.

What caused my overbalance?

I didn't become overbalanced all at once.  It happened bit by bit. 

I gradually took on responsibilities at my kid's extracurricular activities.  I decided to participate in a local home school co-op and to teach one of the classes my boys attended.  Then we signed Will up for Cub Scouts and, due to a limited supply of volunteers, I agreed to lead every 3rd meeting for his den.

I increased my blogging activities.  I set a goal for myself to blog 4-5 times a week.  I also accepted more responsibilities at Offering Hospitality as Carrie, the editor, prepares for the birth of her third child.  Then I set up a Facebook page for SMB to provide another avenue for connecting with readers.

I cut out exercising, cooking healthy meals and consistent quiet times in order to fit in everything else.  Why is it that when we start getting ourselves stretched thin we cut out the activities that we need most?!  The physical result of no exercise and too many Domino's pizzas has been an extra 5-8 pounds and one pants size.  The spiritual result is less tangible but no less felt.


How do I stop being stretched thin?

The problem is that all of my activities are good ones.  They each add to family life, teach my children something new, or provide a creative outlet for me.  So, how do I pick and choose where to spend my time?  Clearly something has to give, and soon!

Are you also overcommitted?  How do you keep life in balance?  I'd love to discuss this further in the comments!

Me Time (Part 2) :: Mom2Mom

A conversation between Moms about the hard points of this motherhood journey.

A couple of days after last week's Mom2Mom post published I went back and read it.  And I realized that what published wasn't really what had been on my heart to write.  Somehow it ended up being a tip or how-to post when really I wanted to write a from-the-heart post.  So I'm giving it another try today.

Today's Mom2Mom conversation is: Me Time.


Honestly, the concept of "me time" has always made me uncomfortable.  Back before I had children (aka when I knew everything), I listened with horror as moms talked about needing a break from their children.  I so desperately wanted to be a mom that the idea of gleefully leaving my child with a sitter so I could pursue my own agenda sounded self-centered.

After all, isn't self-denial and sacrifice the primary requirements in the Mom job description?!

Then I became a mom.  You would think that my view of "Me Time" would have changed.  But it didn't.

I still thought "Me Time" was selfish, only now I felt guilty because I wanted it so badly!  If I went out with a friend and left my family at home, guilt set in.  If I sequestered myself in my bedroom after my husband came home from work, guilt set in.  If I left my family for an entire day or overnight, I tried to make it up to them and ignore the guilt!

But, as any caregiver will tell you, if you don't take time for refreshment and renewal you will burn out. 

I think that's what happened to me about two years ago.  I just plain burned out.  Six years of meeting the needs of my family 24/7 had used up about everything I had to give.

I didn't have an epiphany or any kind of dramatic moment.  I just slowly started changing how I view "Me Time."  Now I see it as something that's necessary for my own well being. 


Me Time isn't about fulfilling my own needs or wants. 

If I get focused on what 'I' want and what 'I' need then I'm probably going to become frustrated with the people and events that get in my way.  I'm going to require my family to make sacrifices that aren't in their best interest so that I can get what I want.  In that case, Me Time is selfish, and I've so been there!

Me Time is about gaining perspective and a clear view of my life. 

When I have a girls night out with my friend and we talk about all the crazy and annoying stuff our kids do, then I come home with the perspective that my kids are normal and healthy.  And that they aren't trying to make me lose my mind on purpose.

When I spend an occasional night away from my family, then I come home with a greater appreciation for sweet bedtime hugs and snuggles.

When I spend an evening secluded in my bedroom reading a book, then I feel creative and energetic for having fun as a family.

So, if you are early in your journey as a mom, let me share my heart - this is a marathon not a sprint.  Take a break from mothering every once in a while and reposition your perspective.  Your family will benefit just as much as you will.

What is your opinion on Me Time?  Selfish or Needed?  Do you take regular breaks or is it hard to find the time?

Finding Daily Time for Me :: Mom2Mom

Today I'm beginning a new feature called Mom2Mom.  Several of you responded to my survey back in January saying you'd like to hear about some of my struggles as a mom.  Well, that's what Mom2Mom is about.  Just a conversation from one mom to another about some of the hard points of this motherhood journey.

Today's Mom2Mom conversation is:  Finding daily time for me.  

From the moment my precious firstborn arrived home from the hospital he has demanded all of my time and attention.  Those first months were spent grabbing showers and catnaps when Will chose to sleep.  In other words - they were pure torture.  My pediatrician gave me some great advice back then.  Dr. S. said, "It won't hurt him to cry while you take a shower.  No child ever had to go to the hospital for crying too much."  I took his words to heart!

Fast forward 7 years and 3 more children and finding a few minutes for me each day has become even more challenging. 

I know some moms who get up at the crack of dawn before their children to fit in an hour or so of peace and quiet.  I am NOT a morning person and two of my children definitely are.  That means as soon as they hear feet hit the floor they are up and raring to go.

I know other moms who enjoy time for themselves while their children are at school.  I home school.  That means my children are with my 24/7.  Not only do I not get school hours to myself, I'm spending them teaching my children.

So, how do I make time for myself each day?

I have made our daily schedule so that ALL four of my children go down for rest/nap time after lunch.  All of them.  It's not negotiable.  The 2 big boys (6 & 7 years) must stay relatively quiet in their room for at least an hour.  The 2 littles (2 and 4 years) must sleep for at least 2 hours.  This way I get at least 1 whole hour every afternoon to myself.

Unless it's a day like today when the doorbell rang about 20 minutes after putting everyone in bed.  After that I kissed my quiet time good-bye.

The second way I make time for myself is at night after the kids are in bed.  I am a night owl.  The still quiet of my home at night is when I think best.  So that's when I write a lot of my blog posts. 

And stay up way too late.  Which then makes it hard to get up in the mornings and just perpetuates the cycle.

It's not a perfect system but most of the time it works.  And on the days it doesn't work (like today) I try not to get frustrated that I'm not accomplishing what I wanted to for the day.  I try to remember that in 20 years I won't regret not writing one more blog post but I will regret not reading one more book with my 2 year old son.

How do you make daily time for yourself?