There are no babies in my house.
No tiny diapers. No bottles. No middle-of-the-night feedings. No pacifiers. No tiny shoes. No diaper blow outs. No sweet baby's breath. No swaying side-to-side during a conversation to keep a baby asleep.
The baby-toddler stage of my mothering journey officially ended in October when Samuel turned 3 years old. A season of my life is done. Over.
In all honesty, I miss it. Yes, mothering babies and toddlers is HARD. It is all about survival - yours and the baby! But it's also very sweet and very basic. Food, clean diapers, and lots of snuggles are all baby needs and wants. It's physically exhausting to meet those needs 24/7 but it's also very fulfilling to know I am the only one who knows how to make baby most comfortable.
I know that our decision not to birth more babies is the right one for us. Four c-sections in 5.5 years is not easy. Homeschooling big kids during the day, nursing a baby at night, and wrestling with crazy hormones is overwhelming. Mix in fatigue and joint pain from rheumatoid arthritis and you really have the potential for disaster.
My head knows it's the right decision. My heart isn't so sure. My heart keeps whispering, "No! Don't let this sweet season of life end so soon. Just one more baby."
While my heart struggles to catch up with my head, I remind myself that no diaper bags, no naps, no strollers, and no cribs brings fresh adventures, different kinds of sweet moments, and fulfillment in not just surviving but enjoying our growing relationships.
One season ends and another begins. Eventually my heart will embrace this season of life, probably about the time we hit the tween years. Heaven help me!
Has your season of life changed recently? Were you excited or scared, happy or sad about the changes? Share your thoughts about the seasons of motherhood in the comments.
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