Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Disappointed in Motherhood :: Mom2Mom

You know that feeling you get when your expectations aren't met?  Yep, disappointment.  That's what I want to talk about today.

Last week I experienced a big disappointment - the winners for the Mom Central Blogging Grants were announced and I wasn't one of them.

Honestly, I'm disappointed.  I really wanted to win that grant!  It's taken me a week to process the loss and tell you about it.  I know many of you voted for me daily and I hate to let you down.

As I thought about my disappointment I realized my negative emotions were causing negative thinking.  Thoughts like "my blog isn't good enough," "I'm never going be a successful blogger," and "I should have worked harder" filled my mind.

Thankfully I have a wise husband who reminded me that my blog is good (though it can always be improved), that I am a success at blogging (though not where I want to be yet) and that I gave the contest my best shot.

Once my negative emotions decreased I could see the truth in Joel's words.  I also started thinking about disappointment in motherhood. 

Motherhood is chock full of unmet expectations!  Some of them are silly, while others run deep and cause pain for years.

Here are a few of my motherhood disappointments:
  • All 4 of my babies were delivered by c-section.  Being strapped to a table surrounded by doctors and nurses is not a magical way to begin motherhood!
  • One of my children has brown eyes.  I know it's silly but my blue eyes have always been one of my favorite characteristics so I wanted my children to be blue-eyed.  I'm over it now and love my child's chocolate colored eyes.
  • I only nursed the first 2 boys a couple of months so I could go back on my RA medication.  I always thought I'd breastfeed for a year.
  • My school-aged children learned to read as kindergarteners.  I learned to read before starting school and always thought my children would too.
These are just a few of my disappointments with motherhood.  As you can see, some are silly and passed, while others still sting even today. 

What motherhood disappointments have you experienced?  Silly or serious?  Do they still cause you pain?  Let's talk about it in the comments.


Carrie said...

Hey! You made it FAR!

However, at the same time, I know how it feels to really want something and go after it only to not receive it. Thank you for sharing your news with us and I am sorry. At the same time, Joel is right! Your blog IS great and can always be improved.

As for my expectations, they currently revolve around a two year old who can't seem to expand his vocabulary....

Stephanie's Mommy Brain said...

Thanks Carrie! I really am thrilled with how far I got in the voting portion of the contest. My readers, friends and family ROCKED the voting!! Like you said, it's hard to really go after something as hard as you can and not get it. I'm only mildly disappointed now. :) Thanks for your kind words about my blog. I'm working to make it better every day.

2 year olds are a lot of fun, aren't they? Mine has found MANY different ways to express one basic idea - no.

Wherever HE Leads We'll Go said...

I have been really behind in my blog reading. I came to yours today so I could get caught up and this is the first post I read? Talk about hitting close to home!

I was disappointed that I didn't take a healthy bouncing baby home after 3 days in the hospital. I think by now, the sting of that has worn off some, but every once in a while it hits me full force.

Now there are other things that hit me. Thinking like walking and talking. I listen to so many moms complain about their kids driving them crazy because they won't stop talking or are tearing up their house. I cannot help but wish that mine could do those things. Again, not something I dwell on all the time, but sometimes it just hits me like a punch in the gut.

Wherever HE Leads We'll Go said...

By the way, I am so sorry to hear about the grant. I wondered how that all turned out and kept meangin to ask you. You do a fantastic job with your blog. I look forward to soaking up your wisdom when I come here. : )

Flamingo said...

aww....i'm so sorry to hear about the grant! you were tenacious in going for it. don't get down about the blog thing. that is sooooo easy to do. you are not your blog. i think you can have the best blog in the world and if God is not intending for it to grow...it won't. disapointing. i know:)

Susan said...

I am so sorry - I can totally relate, because I was an "unsuccessful" finalist as well. It was totally disappointing (and I add to that, that I - a very shy person - was quite uncomfortable begging my readers to vote for me, over and over). I felt the very same way you did. I'm very thankful your husband is so supportive - mine has asperger's syndrome and as not :( I just began reading a book this morning and the first chapter was just what I needed to read (It's "Knowing God, Knowing Myself"). Something about taking joy in the journey, but leaving the results totally up to God. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying!

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