How am I - The Physical Stuff.

Today I went to see my gynecologist. She did an exam and confirmed that everything is back to normal. I paid $25 to lose a little dignity and be told what I already know.

I really like my doctor, though. She delivered Ben and saw me through to Ellie's birth (she wasn't on-call when we got to the hospital). I'm very sad that she has dropped obstetrics!

One of the reasons I like her is when we had our first appointment for Ben she asked if we would want all the blood tests they offer for various abnormalities. She even explained that more often than not the tests have false positives. Then she said if we would not "terminate" (medical speak for "kill my baby") based on the tests then there was no point in doing them. And that was the end of that. She never brought them up again. Much different from the doctor I had with Will who looked at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't want the tests.

Then there's the fact that she's "let" me try to VBAC. Twice. Not that she was terribly helpful during labor but she didn't fight me on it.

Today clinched my liking her. As we discussed the miscarriage she made a point in saying that it wasn't my fault. I didn't DO anything to cause it and there was nothing I could have done to have prevented it. I haven't wrestled with any of those issues but I thought it was great of her to say that anyway. She also made a point of saying that a miscarriage is a loss. She affirmed that this baby was important and losing the baby is a big deal. I SO appreciate that.
Dr. Manning and her staff were just the right amount of sympathetic and understanding without being overly so. At least it was the right amount for me. = )

She asked if I had called their office when I started spotting. I told her "no." I knew there was nothing she or the hospital could do for me so I didn't see the point in all the drama. I was better off at home in my own bed where I could actually rest. Not to mention a trip to the hospital would have cost me $100! Just for them to say "Sorry, go home and go to bed." No, thanks. I'll keep my money. Plus, there's the little issue of babysitters.

After my explanation she said I was "tough" and agreed that I did the best thing. That there was nothing she could have done for me. She also said one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first trimester. Guess I'm right on for the statistic. She added that having a miscarriage does not increase your risk or likelihood of having another one.

What does all this rambling mean? I'm fine. My body worked the way it's supposed to under the circumstances. My future risks are no greater than they were before. And according to my doctor, I made good decisions. It's nice to hear a doctor say what I've been saying all week. Even if it did cost me $25. And after birthing 3 babies it's not like I had much dignity left anyway. = )